The girl whipped the horse's sperm with a whip
Hi everyone,
4. Wander around Marble Mountain. I'm usually not the most interested in sightseeing unless it involves an eight mile vertical climb, so Marble mountain was right up my ally. Though calling it a mountain is rather generous, there are a fair amount of stairs to climb up. The mountain (hill) is part of a Buddhist monastery and has many caves and grottoes hiding shrines. I could certainly see the appeal of worshiping in such an idyllic setting.
3. On the way to the peninsula, visit the Lady Buddha (Goddess of Mercy) at the Linh Ung Pogada because who doesn't want to admire a feminine icon. The statue stands over 67 meters tall, making it visible from across the city. And did I mention, its a LADY BUDDHA. That's right girl, go on being ya bad buddha self!
9. Pretend it is your birthday when you go out. While it was unplanned, two of the Irish volunteers began singing happy birthday to me in the bar. The whole bar joined in and we got a few free drinks. Not to mention, a firework show. I've always wanted a surprise birthday party (hint hint friends and family), but this may be as close as I get.
8. Do redeem yourself with old drinking buddies. I ran into Nico again in Hoi An and proved to him that I don't always get horribly sick when I drink.
Not picture: our cranky, hot, hungry, exhausted attitudes and my near melt-down at not being able to open my water bottle. Pro-tip: keep Maggie well-fed at all times or assume all risks and responsibilities.
7. Enjoy the lantern festival. Hoi An is known for its silk lanterns and holds a lunar lantern festival on the 15th of every month. You can take a boat ride down the river and release your own lantern as you make a wish. I sent my lantern down the river carrying the wish that my cat, Louie, will still love me after I abandoned him for two months. Fingers crossed.
2. Once you have your motorbike, cruise around the Son Tra Peninsula. It is an exceptionally beautiful ride around the coast of Vietnam. Warning, if your bike is not powerful enough to get up the extremely steep hills it will creep to a stop and start to roll backwards until you fall over. Meanwhile, your friends will continue on blissfully ignorant to the fact that you are no longer following. Maybe a lovely Vietnamese couple will come to you aide, but their bike will also fall over, breaking a rear view mirror, causing you to feel utterly incompetent. Definitely not speaking from personal experience or anything..
Its blurry, but you can see the sparklers going off in the bar. Honestly, I'm not sure how it isn't a fire hazard. Then again the bar is called Tiger Tiger and its catchphrase is "Don't be a pussy, be a tiger", so I don't think safety is their number one priority.
1. Rent a motorbike! My mom has a rule that if we do anything life-threatening we must wait 10 years before we tell her about it. If you know me well, you know I suffer from a complete inability to keep secrets, so I think I lasted about 10 hours before I told my parents. Surprisingly, they only asked if I had worn a helmet. Riding a motorbike was the absolute best thing I have ever ever done. I felt so free as I weaved (wove?) in and out of Danang traffic and then onto the open, empty roads around the peninsula. It was especially nice to see the sights without having to join a tour bus agency. Also, I'm pretty sure I beat Joe in riding a motorbike first, so I have the glory of outdoing my adventurous brother just this once.

All in all, it was an amazing trip. I'm so glad I had friends to go with friends as they made the weekend so memorable. I would never have rented a motorbike on my own, and I most certainly would not have been the center of an impromptu birthday celebration. Thank you Cliodhna, Aidan and Rachel for pushing me out of my comfort zone. It was so very worth it.
It's crazy, but I'm down to my last week in Vietnam. How quickly six weeks goes by. Luckily, my final weekend excursion sent me out in grand fashion. Enjoy my list of what you must do in Hoi An.
6. Cool off with some coconut water. I may have been a little overexcited to drink from a coconut.
Stay tuned to hear about my reunion with Anna in Thailand! Thanks for reading!